Thomas J. Simms, RN, CHPN

People who care for others or work in the “helping professions” usually have an abundance of caring concern for those they serve. Boundaries may often be hard to set when responding to the needs of other’s.  The love and caring that make care-givers so special can also serve as a major source of stress in their own lives.

In the midst of intimate and intense care-giving, individuals often forget to take care of themselves.  In order to continue doing this wonderful work, attending to oneself is crucial.  It is not enough to take vacations.  It is essential to have a lifestyle that incorporates manageable stress-reducing techniques.  The following suggestions may be of help.

Life is full of “ups” and “downs”.  In care-giving, it is essential to manage those emotional swings properly.  Rest, exercise, and proper nourishment are top priorities for a healthy life.  For care-givers, sufficient rest can be challenging because the work itself requires a lot of emotionally charged time with those for whom care is being provided.  Being aware of one’s need for rest and taking the needed time is essential.  A plan for regular exercise is an excellent way to reduce tension and manage stress...as well as burn a few extra calories.  Not only can taking a long walk help provide physical activity, it allows time to think, reflect, discharge anger, and make plans.  Nourishment is essential to keep up strength and motivation.  Three healthy meals a day is the optimal approach.  Don’t skip meals in exchange for time and don’t shortchange yourself with less than wholesome foods.

Friendships apart from the care-giving setting are important.  Too often when care-givers get-together the focus of their conversation tends to center on the difficulties of the work, because that is their common connection.  Friendships that are separate from the work of care-giving provide opportunities to share experiences unrelated to work stressors.

Relaxation through diversion is also a great tool to relieve stress.  However, relaxation is very personal, so there are countless suggestions for ways to relax.  Reading a book, going to a movie, sports, quality time with family, shopping, meditation, visiting friends, cultivating your garden plants, are all ways to relax.  Find one, or several, that are right for you.

We are often too generous in taking care of others and forget to add our own name to the list of people who need attention.  Baths with candles and soft music, a massage, a weekend trip to the bookstore, an evening spent with good friends, a visit to the hair salon are all lovely treats.  It is extremely important to gift yourself from time to time.

Developing basic, good mental and physical health care should become a daily routine.  Practicing good stress management is easy and does not require a lot of effort or expense.  Permission to take care of oneself is the first rewarding step that will prove invaluable throughout life.  Maintaining good health is a gift to the patients and families you care for because they need to learn how to manage their own stress in a time of crisis.  Care-givers can serve as a model of effective stress management for others, including those they serve.  There is no better time to start than now!

If you would like more information about hospice and palliative care, please contact Lighthouse Hospice at 1-800-HOSPICE or, www.lighthousehospice.net. 

Tom Simms, RN, CHPN is Director of Education and Quality at Lighthouse Hospice, Inc. located in Cherry Hill, NJ. With over 35 years experience as a Registered Nurse, he lends a significant expertise to the Lighthouse Hospice program. Mr. Simms is also Section Leader for the National Council of Hospice and Palliative Professionals Steering Committee on Development, Public Relations and Marketing. He was formerly co-Chairman of the Hospice-Veterans Partnership for the NJ Hospice and Palliative Care Organization.